I opened the blogging portion just now, knowing full  well that I’d already forgotten the thought that was important enought to write…. because it could be 20 years before I have gained enough fame to have a fan find these, review them and then start a business and make a zillion dollars.. We’ll be up to zillion by then I am sure.

It might be less. Maybe 17 years if I died in 5.

I think about abandoned diaries and my videos. When I die, it is unlikley that anyone will care. Death is so complex if I allow myself to prepare, which I should. I would not mind being immortal. It would give me a different perspective. I would hve to live. I’d be forced to figure it out.

No.  The later life version of me would go mad until I figured out how to be rich. THen I’d handle it… but I am sadly far crazier now then previously.

Whomp WHomp.  I suck, I hear from someone in my head.

Yeah yeah… It is a painful thing to see in others. Those moments they share where they have a self worth issue. I called it low self esteme. I hate seeing smart people think they are orthless. I know I can not comfort them with my stories. I know how hating yourself gets in the way of happiness. I cant solve it for anyone else because I didn;t figure it out till 50. When you hit the top, you can see a lot of things that you could never see at eye level. I figured it out.

end of part 1.


Off to Second Life’