You might be a Trekkie if…
- you know Yeoman Rand’s cabin number
- you can name all 79 episodes of classic Trek–in order
- you can name alphabetically all the women Kirk seduced
- Mr. Spock beamed down into your back yard last night and talked to you
- you named your first child Leonard William DeForest
- you named your first child Tiberius
- you breed Tribbles
- you have a matter/anti-matter converter in your bathroom
- you answer your cellular flip-phone “Kirk here”
- Deanna Troi can ‘feel’ your pain
- you spend $150.00 at a convention on a piece of plastic that may or may not look like a phaser
- you sing along with William Shatner’s record album
- you shave your head to look like Captain Picard
- you want to have Worf’s baby
- you talk… like… William Shatner–on purpose
- you have a copy of every Star Trek uniform shown on TV or in the movies you spend the weekend decorating your friend’s van to look like a shuttlecraft instead of going on a date with the Homecoming Queen
- you trim your angora cat’s hair to make it look like a tribble
- you scare your little brother by acting like a Gorn
- you have a shrine to Gene Roddenberry in your spare room
- your dream date is with Deanna Troi
- you keep asking Scotty to ‘beam you up’
he does… - you write love letters to Lursa and Bator
- you can trace your genealogy back to Surak
- you redecorate your living room to look like the bridge of the Enterprise
- you make annual pilgrimages to the Paramount lot
- you have seen Star Trek The Motion Picture over 100 times
- you can quote all of the Articles of the Federation
- you know every word of Star Trek IV by heart
- your idea of a great evening is spouting Trek trivia for six hours with your friends
- you quote the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
- you sing Klingon Opera while showering
- you cannot use contractions in your speech
- when you get sick you want Doctor Beverly to take care of you
- you use stardates on all your correspondence
- you name your cat ‘Spot’ and feed it feline formula #29
- whenever you start your car you take your right index finger and point it ahead of you saying “Engage”
- you call your Psychic friends to talk to Mr. Spock
- you hire a private detective because you KNOW Guinan is here somewhere
- you know the difference between “Live long and prosper” and “Nanu, nanu”
- you save up money to send your kids to Starfleet Academy
- you stand in line for 13 hours to get Gene Roddenberry’s autograph
- you channel Gene Roddenberry
- you ask your broken computer to run a self-diagnostic
- you talk to your computer (Hello, computer!)
If any of these apply to you…..You might be a Trekkie.
