Top 15 Things You’ll Never Hear at a Star Trek Convention
15> “Will the owner of the red Porsche 911, license plate ‘STUDMFN’, please turn your headlights off?”
14> “Does this Star Fleet Academy uniform make me look fat?”
13> “Make it so, Baby, make it so.”
12> “It’s pointless to compare the original crew to the Next Generation, since they’re only fictional characters anyway.”
11> “I dunno, sometimes I wonder if the show was really deserving of all this attention.”
10> “Kirk, Picard… what’s the difference, they’re both losers. I’ll take Will Robinson and Dr. Smith any day.”
9> “I got laid last night!”
8> “Look! It’s Eddie Murphy!”
7> “You’re nuts. Swimming is by far the hardest part of any Iron Man Triatholan.”
6> “Oooh, Girlfriend — Just look at all these hunks! Set your phaser for ‘Love!'”
5> “If you think the brie’s good, you should try the salmon pate.”
4> “To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Patrick Stewart.”
3> “Dammit, Jim — I’m a has-been actor, not an autograph-signer!”
2> “Jim Beam me up, Scotty.”
and the Number 1 Thing You’ll Never hear at a Star Trek Convention…
1> “Hey, guys, how ’bout we finish this conversation over a beer at the topless bar?”
Jeff’s Frogstar Additions:
1) You spent WHAT on a junkie piece of plastic?
2) I know they’re not really going up in value. I just like to buy junk.
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
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