David Attenborough Presents

Tonight on BBC2, we are replaying an episode from the 90s when David brought his jungle-trained camera crew into a basement bedroom in Urban Canada. The episode has been updated but with content updated for today’s world. We now live in a post-pandemic work-from-home lifestyle.

“Good evening, folks! Tonight, we’re delving into the fascinating world of urban wildlife. Move over pigeons and rats, because we’ve got a new creature on the block – the American Urban Sloth.

Yes, you heard it right! The American Urban Sloth – a creature so adept at doing nothing much at all, it’s practically perfected the art of laziness in the hustle and bustle of city life.

Now, you might be wondering, “What’s so special about this sloth?” Well, let me tell you, it’s not your typical tree-dwelling, slow-moving mammal. No, no. The American Urban Sloth is a whole different breed.

Unlike its distant cousin, the jungle sloth, this newly discovered species has adapted to its urban surroundings with uncanny precision. It’s practically indistinguishable from your average American male.

That’s right! The American Urban Sloth is so similar in shape and size to us humans that it’s gone unnoticed for years. It’s like they’ve mastered the art of blending in – a true evolutionary marvel.

But don’t be fooled by their seemingly lackadaisical lifestyle. These urban sloths have honed their skills to perfection. From waking up to eating to taking naps, they’ve got it all figured out.

So, the next time you’re strolling through the city and you spot someone taking it slow, remember – it might just be an American Urban Sloth in disguise.

Until next time, stay curious, folks!”

This is the transcript of the full version script generated for me by ChatGPT to mimic David Attenborough’s style of wild animal documentaries, except in this case it’s watching me laying in my bed or webcam for 4 days straight.