Hello. If you’re just joining us, my name is Jeff, and this is my life, in real time, when I’m in a writing mood.

I still have not started TV. I’ve been mentally debating whether I am ready to let this page and series be seen, or whether it goes in the SAVE bin with all the others.

101 First Drafts.
I don’t like it as much as Chapter 1s as a title, but it’s closer to the realityy.

My life may work like BOOK! You can start anywhere and I’ll have a new theory or discovery about who I am, in the universe.

It’s been fun. Sharing is scary, like the first time you show off or perform in front of an audience.

In my youth, as far back as grades 4 or 5, I was in theatre. My mother founded the little theatre in the town, and I believe it is one of Canada’s most successful, despite several “start over” fire disatsers. I’ve never spent time scenarioing out the foul play angels. I’d rather not take on that priority to worry about.

I was in every school play till grade 11 and in at least two out of school theatre products with the little theatre. I have a photo of me, in blackface playing Buckweat … no… playing the black guy in Tom Sawyer I think.

I’m saying that in my debet series tonight. I can only sumise there were not very many blacks in my home twon.

There still aren’t.

In grade 13, I switched from on stage to back stage and never performed again.

Back stage was just as much fun, the rehersals were the enjoyable part of theatre for me. The performance was horrid, filled with all the emotions I do my best to avoid in life.


I grew into hating it as I aged I guess.

I’m just mnaking the connectiuon live as I type this. It’s kind of how it goes.

I wish I remembered more. I wasn’t popular, but I was a leader among mny friends, and the decisoion maker. Wow. That memory just comes back to mme now and then and I reevaluate how different that time was for me.

I was a strong part of a mafia-like teenager fantasy control of an entire room in the library. The seminar room was where we gathered at every break.

That was a good memory. I cherish when they pop up, because I now explain my memory issues. I’m still trying to fihure it out, but I definalty have issues with not being able to remember my past. I can remember stories, but not emotion, and a huge chunk of my past is gone.

If others make me react, I can remember. I seem to have a great visual memory on demand, but no personal access to the file system. My memories too, need to react.

I can’t work their retrielval alone.

Whether it is true or just a part of crazy, does not matter, in that the effect is the same either way. I am trying to identify all my issues and work to find a way.

This blog is one in many different ways to start, without starting. To find the right person who can manage my reactions into a project, through to completion.

I am scared at what could be. I feel like William Hung didn’t. I have suspicions that I am my own William Hung, and that this entire series is laughable, not interesting.

But Andy Dick just tries to hard, and he’s doing pretty well.

Crazy isn’t a negative like it used to be.

Crazy is an inticing liefstlyle choice.

As I mentioned briefky,m I believe some men fake gay, I also believge some people may fake crazy. If I could manage it, I’d lay in bed and ….

No, I take that back. I’m no Homer.

I’m Harry. Please to meet you. John Jeffrey Harry Goebel.

My story… John was my father, but I didn’t want JJ or Jr, so I’ve always been Jeff. Harry was my mother’s father.

End of part whatever. It’s only 4:40 but it’s dark enough for lights.