I imagine a blog where I do my orange Shirt nightly bloggin, and alongside, the Google Videos. I may decide YouTube is better suited, but that’ll require me to read a YouTube policy page.

Blog should be DAY based as projects. You can still read in either direction, but all of one days should be read in the order of creation.  Each day being one story, even if it’s brokenm in to 5 blogs.

I would like people to be redioercted to day 1 as the “next”


How much should I admit to about my drugs? Should I try tio write the whole story G rated… just admit to the weed?

keeping this one open for the rest of the evening.  I may add to it.


Q: Is my existing blog to be enjoyed by people who don’t know me, or people who do? My only shares have never commented except to say I’m a good writer. I’ve never received any feedback and it’s a fucking scary thing when a friend reads your work and you never hear even a peep. Not a word of comment volenteered.

I have thought about locking it with a passowrd or reguring logged in reading but that means not even the spam robots will read it… and I’ll know.

I’m locked between pride and shame because I don’t know which reaction peole will have. I feel like it could be great if edited, but don’t want to edit without first knowing whether I’m waisting my own time becaus e even edited I won’t share.

Even if I do share, I can’t expect success. Even if it’s great work, the people who succeed do things to succeed. I lay in bed wishing, and then realizing how horrid it would be if it came true.

I have mastered the ultimate tool in procrastination… finding fault with the idea of work.

I just need enough to live in this room and not on the streets, and I will continue in this looop of confidence vs shame of edgo. I have created the link in my mind that I don’t like confidence. It doesn’t work for me as well as self hate. People help me more.


Is that a thing?  Is that a revelation.  I am creating another link… Pride is different from confidece.

I have pride in everything I do and am, but I don’t have the confidence that you will too.

I seem to have crafted a lfe where that works for me. Satisfction and contentment vs the risk of losing that by being arrogant and confident.

That one probably needs actaul thereapy, or at least some more blogs.